A letter to my new Christian self
It has been a little bit over a year since I have gotten saved and shuu, this is not what I was expecting. Those first few months of Christianity were all fun and games. Hear me out, I am not saying it is not awesome now, in fact, it is better now as my sin is being brought into the light and I am being conformed into the image of Christ but I do not think back then I understood what my journey is going to look like going forward after being saved by this Amazing Grace. Hopefully, some will be able to relate and those who are still baby Christians will now know what to expect.
Dear baby Christian me
Girl, it is still going to get real. This life is a life of sacrifice, against your flesh and for other people, but it nowhere compares to what Christ did on the cross for you. It is because of what He did that you can endure the suffering of this present life. You are not as good as you thought you were and being sanctified daily will prove that. The more you grow in the faith, the more you will realise and appreciate that you need Christ. That zeal you had when you just got saved will slowly fade away. Only through being disciplined, abiding in Christ and making Him a part of your daily life will you become fully satisfied. You will not always feel like reading your Bible like before when you were still intrigued. The devil is real but first and foremost the real problem is you. Your flesh. Shame, you are still going to sin against this God whom you have vowed not to sin against. That is the fight that you have to fight against daily. It is okay though. There is grace available everyday to repent.
You probably think you have arrived in Christianity because you know a few doctrines and you have stopped doing a few of your habitual sins however you still have a long way to go. You are still going to learn a lot. As you grow you might also unlearn the initial things you learned. Test every doctrine against Scripture. Obey your personal convictions from God. You will cry a lot over your sins but no need to worry, there is no longer condemnation for those who are in Christ. Be obedient to God. Guard your heart. All things are permissible but not all things are beneficial. Your desires will change. Life as you know it will come crumbling down. Imagine having to doubt if you are now on the correct career path or your next move in life. All in all, let His will be done and not your own.
The transition will not be that bad. You have a new purpose in life. New desires. New community. You will not be as lonely as you are right now even though it will take you some time to realise that there are fellow brothers and sisters in Christ who do love and care about you.
Being saved is the best thing to ever happen to you though. How you deal with life will be different. For the first time, you will get how it is being alive and having a real purpose. As Apostle Paul says, "to live is Christ and to die is gain". You know how unbelievers are always like Christianity for Christians is just there to make them feel better about life or give them hope that life will be better one day. The only difference between believers and unbelievers is that they think it is all in our heads but we know that it is real! You will experience real joy, hope, peace, love and comfort. You know that God works for the good of those who love Him and who have been called according to His purpose.
Super grateful that the Lord has kept me. A year later and He keeps pursuing me even though I try to run away. He is faithful even when I am not. He is the reason that I can write this letter today. It is not about how much I have endured, or how obedient I have been but how gracious He has been to not only save but also keep me.
The mandate is clear for future me: Preach the Gospel. Get married. Have kids. Die. Be forgotten.
Yours in Christ
1 year Christian Gugulikayise